Who Hurt Us?
(And why we built this anyway)
Hi. We own SmallDih.comand at some point we looked at each other and said, “This domain is too good to waste on a parking page.” Then we looked at each other again and said, “What if we made it worse?”
SmallDih.com exists for one noble, stupid cause: proving that a domain name can be a personality. We built ninegames, zero of which your therapist would endorse. There are fake measurements, nosy quizzes, invented facts, a drawing studio, a horoscope, a whack-a-mole game with penalty peaches, a magic 8-ball, and a wheel of misfortune. Lil' Dih runs the place. We just pay the hosting bill.
Our mission statement fits on a Post-it: “Big fun. Modest dimensions. Absolutely no takebacks.”
0
Actual dihs measured
∞
Egos gently bruised
9
Games nobody asked for
1
Mascot with sunglasses
A Brief History of Bad Decisions
Leadership Team
(Entirely fictional. Lil' Dih still outranks you.)
- 🍆
Lil' Dih
CEO & Mascot
“It's my website. I get a corner office. Those are the rules.”
- 🍌
The Banana Lobby
Chief Conversion Officer
“We suppress the truth about banana-to-dih ratios. You're welcome.”
- 👻
Anonymous Coward
Head of Engineering
“It's mostly CSS. Don't tell anyone.”
- 🔬
Sir Shrinks-a-Lot
VP of Modesty
“Our KPIs are down. That's the whole brand.”
What We've Unleashed
- 📏 The Official Dih Measurer™ — Get scientifically* certified. (*not actually scientific)
- 🧠 What's Your Dih Personality? — Are you a Grower, a Shower, or just a Knower?
- 🎨 Draw the Perfect Dih — Trace it, get scored. Are you a true artist?
- 🤓 Random Dih Facts — Did you know? You probably didn't. None are true.
- 🔮 The Daily Dihroscope — The stars have aligned. They're unimpressed.
- 🏆 The Podium of the Pathetic — Crown the smallest. Build the podium.
- 🔨 Whack-a-Dih — Smack 'em before they shrink away.
- 🔮 The Dihball — Ask the orb. It knows things. Bad things.
- 🎡 Wheel of Misfortune — Give it a spin. Accept your fate.
The Fine Print (Read This, Coward)
- This site is for entertainment only and intended for adults 18 and over. If you're under 18, go touch grass. Or homework. We don't care.
- Nothing here is real, scientific, medical, legal, financial, or remotely accurate. It is all cartoon comedy and bad puns.
- No actual anatomy is depicted, measured, harmed, or photographed. Only eggplants, bananas, hotdogs, peaches, and worse jokes.
- “Dih-Units™” are not recognized by any government, university, or your mother. We checked. She said no.
- The Dihball's answers are legally binding in zero jurisdictions. Including this one.
- Whack-a-Dih high scores are stored in your browser. We cannot see them. We also cannot explain why you played for 30 minutes.
- Typing “dih” anywhere on the site may cause eggplant rain. This is a feature, not a bug.
- Lil' Dih has read none of this. He's busy. He thinks you're doing great.
- Please laugh responsibly. Or irresponsibly. We're not your dad.
Contact Us
Don't. We're not set up for that. Send your complaints to the nearest eggplant emoji. It won't reply.
Press inquiries: yell into a banana. Media kit: we don't have one. Careers: there are no careers. There is only Lil' Dih.